Choices revisited

View of the ocean at sunset in Kona

A while ago I wrote about the difficult choices sometimes placed before us.  In the situation I was then faced with I made a choice to trust my instincts and not move away from my job and home to move with someone I loved very much to a new position. After he left I struggled greatly with my emotions.  It seems like I was unaware of the depth of my feeling and commitment to him until he left.

As it turns out, after moving this person decided that he wanted to marry me.  It does appear that absence, to some extent, does make the heart grow fonder.  Or at the very least, absence helps us to clarify what we are feeling. We were engaged and then the wheels of the universe turned in support of us and he came back to Hawaii and was reinstated in his former position.  We were married not too long ago.

It seems like, as painful as it was to let him go, it was ultimately the best decision to trust my instincts. Why?  Why do we encourage each other to trust our instincts?  Follow our heart instead of the head... We pride ourselves as a species of being able to reason, being self-aware and all that.  But, when it comes down to the important stuff we say, trust your instincts.  Is that because, fundamentally, we realize that we can not rely on what we are aware of?  In that case, is being reasonable and self-aware, really that great?