Choices

Some choices are simple.  There's a clear path ahead and alternative options just aren't as appealing. Some choices are complex. There may be two or more desirable options to chose from, i.e. the situation where you want to have the cake and the ice cream but you know having both would not be wise or impossible with the current budget.  I am over-simplifying of course.  The kind of complex choices I am referring to are not the, "Should I have dessert?", "What should I have for dessert?" or "What should I wear today?"  kind of choices.  I am pondering the kinds of choices that are really difficult and have lifelong implications, such as, "What do I do after high school or college?", "Do I marry?", "Do I marry this person?", "Do I put my career on hold and have children?", "Do I try to do it all i.e. marriage, career and family?". The most challenging choices of all are those that involve and impact on other people.  Of course, one could argue that any choice we make has impact on other people and the environment.  Having both cake and ice cream for dessert affects the cake and ice cream economy, jobs, livelihoods etc.  But, the reality is that our direct impact on other people isn't as significant in that situation as marrying someone or having children.

I have been recently faced with making a huge complex choice; one that impacts me, my family and several other people.  It would be nice in this situation to have access to a time machine in which I could explore the possible futures and then make a more informed decision.  So, I've tried prayer instead and not gotten a lot of feedback.

The irony in this situation is that I was faced with a remarkably similar choice about 14 years ago.  I know what choice I made in that situation. The outcome wasn't good for me or ultimately those I loved.  It was a tough situation and I am not sure I really want to repeat the experience.

But, here I am over a decade later and confronted with a similar situation.  In a very coincidental way history seems to be repeating itself. So, I find myself asking, "Is this a chance for me to demonstrate that I've learned my lesson (presuming of course that there's some lesson to be learned through all of these life experiences)?  Could it be that I could go into a similar situation again and handle it very differently and have it work out great?"

In the absence of a time machine or reliable answer from the heavens, I have had to trust and follow my instincts.  I've made the best decision I could with the information I had at the time.  Will it have consequences? As with every choice, I am sure it will.  Do I know what they are?  I can guess but I don't know.  Regardless, I am on a path now.  If I am lucky, I will have a chance to make more choices down the line.  Hopefully, I haven't forever given up cake in order to have my ice cream.